DC Comics and Bad Tea
by Empress T'Pau
Summary: The Staff of Hogwarts a bunch Superheros? What? Snape is Batman? Dumbledore is Superman?Minerva is Wonder Women? Weirded out yet? This story is complete...expect a sequal sometime ;) R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or Captain Obvious. It all belongs to DC comics or J.K. Rowling or whoever has legal rights to Harry Potter or said comic book heroes/characters. Thank you.  
  
Authors note: I am so hyper and well I thought I'd write something funny...*chocolate* Anyways please enjoy. If I made you smile then I know I've done some good in this world. * ^ ~ ^*  
  
D.C. comics and Bad Tea...  
  
Yes, it was indeed a dark and stormy night. All the students were sleeping warm in their beds without a worry in the world. Well most of them were anyways. However, unbeknownst to our students, something was prowling about in the dark.  
  
Staff meeting...  
  
"So that concludes our annual budget meeting..." Dumbledore said with finality. The rest of the staff began to break up into their own conversations. Over the murmuring and buzzing at the table a loud crash was heard outside of the ancient hall. Dumbledore stood up and looked around.  
  
"What was that Albus?" Minerva stood up as well whipping out her wand.  
  
"I don't know, but its something evil and up to absolutely no good." He said looking over the table. "Come on people you know your jobs...its time to put those costumes to use..." He left suddenly.  
  
"He's got to be kidding!" Snape sneered. Minerva shook her head.  
  
"I'm afraid he's not. Come on now you heard the man! Auriga, Flitwick, Go or I swear he wont give us our raises." The others left grudgingly out the door. All except Snape, who was sitting and just glaring at Minerva.  
  
"Don't look at me Like that, go!" She commanded him. He looked murderously at her and made his way out the door. Minerva gave a sigh.  
  
"Here we go again..." She said quietly to herself. All of a sudden she spread out her arms and began to spin around like crazy. Within seconds Minerva McGonagall was no longer the transfigurations professor, but the Amazon, Wonder Woman. She left for the door.  
  
"At least I don't have to wear my underwear on the outside." She said with wry smile and left.  
  
Meanwhile...  
Somewhere within the dungeons of Hogwarts Snape was fumbling around in the darkness, aware of the danger outside in the halls of the school, he emerges from the shadows of the dungeons. The fires from the torches illuminate the familiar pointed ears and insignia on his chest.  
  
"I swear Dumbledore will pay for this. I'll kill anyone who sees me like this." He grunted to himself and left to meet the others  
  
******  
  
"A Justice friend there is some malignant thing that has invaded our school, we must stop it!" Dumbledore announced to the teachers.  
  
"Albus_" Minerva started to say.  
  
"Superman ...Wonder Women...Its Superman. We mustn't reveal our Identities." Dumbledore said quite seriously. Snape rolled his eyes and began to walk back to his dungeons.  
  
"Batman... where are you going? We need your help." Dumbledore said indicating Snape. Severus shook with anger.  
  
"Yeah, where are you going?" said Sinistra  
  
"To rethink my life... Brazil is sounding real good `bout now."  
  
"I didn't just stuff myself into this outfit just so that you can leave! Dumbledore if he can go then I am going too, its probably just Filches old cat." Sinistra said holding her mace and batting her wings. She was not a happy Hawkgirl.  
  
"Come on Batman we can't fight unless the justice league is united. Remember divided we fall..." Dumbledore said trying to get into superman's character. Snape looked back and snorted.  
  
"Are you serious about confronting this "Malignant" being wearing costumes? I think you've finally lost it Superman!" Snape said sarcastically. Suddenly another crash was heard down the hall.  
  
"Flash! Go see what that was." Dumbledore commanded poor little Flitwick, who was sporting a yellow and red costume reminiscent of The Flash. Flitwick sighed and responded, "Yes sir, Superman." Flitwick ran as fast as both his little legs could carry him. He looked down the corridor connecting to the main hall, but saw nothing. He looked back at the others and shrugged.  
  
"Lets go! Up, up and away..." Dumbledore shouted and ran, pretending to fly. The others moaned and followed him all the way to the grand hall. "My X-Ray vision tells me that there is something in the Grand Hall!" Dumbledore said with an omniscient voice.  
  
"Thank you Captain Obvious." Minerva muttered to herself as he opened the Grand Hall. It was pitch dark.  
  
"Lumos_" Flitwick began to chant but was stopped by Dumbledore.  
  
"No Magic at all. We must defeat this evil with our incredible fighting skills. Wonder Women use your lasso of truth! Hawkgirl turn on the lights! Flash run around in circles and Batman just stand there and look intimidating."  
  
"I can do that." Snape said flatly.  
  
"And I'll do all the talking..." Dumbledore said.  
  
Auriga Sinistra illuminated the hall manually, shedding light in the magnificent hall. Minerva began to pull out her lasso and pretended to know what she was doing. Flitwick was running around in circles and then stopped when he became to dizzy. They all began to walk slowly, watching their surroundings waiting for a sound.  
  
"Wonder Women try and lasso our prowler."  
  
"I can't even see it Superman!"  
  
"I have faith in you..."  
  
"Save it for the saps, Albus!"  
  
"Shh! Did you hear that?" Snape said looking into the distant corner, "I hear breathing." They all commenced to walk towards the corner.  
  
"You can be a little scary sometimes Bat..er..Severus...just a little." Minerva said holding the golden chord in her hands tightly as she approached the corner.  
  
"Its my job..." he answered her.  
  
They approached the corner of the hall; nothing appeared to be there. Snape sauntered over and grabbed hold of the air. In a swift movement he pulled a thin veil covering as boy with dark hair and glasses. Both parties screamed.  
  
"Potter!" Snape growled.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore? Professor McGonagall? Snape?" Harry stood there mouth agape  
  
"You drag us in costume to fight off a fifteen year old?" Snape said turning back to leave. 'Of all people it had to be potter.'  
McGongall flustered threw her golden tiara to the ground and left. 'I have to go to some other school.'  
All the others left in anger and embarrassment. Dumbledore was left standing with and shocked Harry.  
  
"This never happened..." Dumbledore said backing away slowly and running off. Harry just stood there and finally the full realization of what just happened hit him. . 'Am I dreaming, this can't be real? Snape BATMAN! McGonagall Wonder Woman! Dumbledore SUPERMAN! McGongall WONDERWOMAN! I swear I'll never eat anything Hagrid offers me, I swear it!'  
  
Harry awoke in bed gasping. Ron woke up and shook Harry from his shock.  
  
"What was it Mate? Was it Volde-Voldemort again?"  
  
Harry shook his head and began to laugh, "Snape in Batman costume- hhahahaha- McGonagall...Wonder Woman ...Dumbledore-hahahahaha- Superman. It was all just a dream!"  
  
Or was it?  
  
****** So what did you think? Please review it would mean a lot to me. Any suggestions or criticism is welcome. Just void profanity please. 


	2. Not that crap again

Disclaimer: Again I do not own anything except for my Sailor Moon cards and my Star Trek book collection...sigh... It all belongs to DC and JK Rowling...sigh... One DAY!  
  
Authors note: Thank you so much for the reviews! ( I wasn't really intending to do other chapters, but why not? Homework and other stuff can wait! So thank you so much it looks like I've finally done something right. Miranda G. Potter this ones for you.  
  
DC comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 2 "Not this crap again? "  
  
Later that same night in Snape's office...  
  
"So Harry thinks it was all a dream?" Minerva asked nervously. Dumbledore nodded his ancient head.  
  
"Yes, however I don't think those images will ever leave his head." Albus said as Snape silently shuffled in his seat.  
  
"I think we are more traumatized than he is..." Sinistra's voice chimed in. The others agreed with soft moans. "...we can't do this again.". Dumbledore shook his head at Sinistra's comment.  
  
"You don't understand, we must do this for the safety of the children." Dumbledore said. The others looked at him as if he were joking. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Please you must do this, I am not nuts it is just that this is the only way...and I sign your paychecks...Ahem?" Snape rose from his seat with the last shred of dignity he had in him.  
  
"Would you look at yourself Dumbledore? I mean you are wearing red underpants on the outside and a cape!" Snape yelled slightly. The others looked at him with slight amusement.  
  
"Look whose talking?" Sinistra said looking at him with discernment. Snape last shred of confidence died, but he managed to stay standing.  
  
"We can't have another episode like Potter's. If another student catches us it will be a disaster."  
  
"Well, than you shall teach us some stealth Batman?" Dumbledore said with a small smile on his face.  
  
"Please, not that crap again!" Snape said rolling his eyebrows.  
  
"Well it not like some demented freak breaks into to the school every night." Flitwick said giving into Dumbledore's request. The others just shook their heads in surrender. "Good point Flitwick, however I suggest every night someone goes on patrol...With Voldemort on the loose this school is in grave danger."  
  
"Yes Albus we know this, but why in costume?" Minerva asked once again.  
  
"Do I need to give you all a reason?" Dumbledore said scrutinizing all of them.  
  
"No", They all thought to themselves, "he doesn't."  
  
"Alright then, Batman you'll patrol tomorrow night." Albus said with the authority Superman had.  
  
"To the Batcave..." Sinistra chortled. Snape threw her an evil glare.  
  
"Well if that's all_" Albus started but was suddenly stopped by the opening of the door.  
  
"Professor Snape!" Draco came in bursting through the door breathless, "I saw...I saw, Potter...I saw? Oh my Holy Crap!" Draco saw all them in their strange attire. The others sat frozen in their chairs. Draco took step forward but the sight of Snape in the bat costume and McGonagall in the scant clothes of Wonder Woman was too much for him. He gave a girlish squeal and fainted.  
  
"Idiot boy." Minerva grumbled. Snape and Flitwick went over to pull in Draco's limp form into the office.  
  
"What are we going to do with the blond now?" Sinistra asked as she looked over him.  
  
"Lets give him to Poppy, he'll wake up in the infirmary. Severus, you tell him later that he was knocked unconscious..." Dumbledore said.  
  
"Why me?" He said quite upset.  
  
"Oh come on batty get with the program." Minerva quipped.  
  
"I can tell this is going to be a very long night." Flitwick said as they all left carrying a very unconscious Malfoy.  
  
Peeves suddenly appeared, "looking more batty than usual huh, Snapey Wapey," Peeves grabbed Snape cape and flung it over his head causing Snape to trip and cause a domino affect. All of them fell on top of Draco.  
  
"I fell on something soft." Sinistra said as Snape groaned in agony.  
  
"Okay Draco really needs to go to the infirmary now." Dumbledore said as our heroes faded into the night.  
  
*&*&*&*&*  
  
Sorry not nearly as funny or as long as the last one. Please R&R I need some Ideas... 


	3. Morning Bee Gees

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...tear...It all belongs to J.K. Rowling or D.C. Comics... Oh and I don't own "Stayin' Alive" That belongs to the Bee Gees.  
  
Authors note: If you don't know how to sing staying alive...it really hard I know just pop in the song and listen to it while it all happens...if you never heard of "Stayin' Alive" shame on you! Well I don't know if I should keep going just enjoy and review please! ( Thank you so much for the idea Cyberian Otter!  
  
D.C. and Bad Tea: Chapitre Trois... Morning Bee Gees  
  
It indeed had been a very long night for Severus Snape and the rest of the "Justice League". Severus arose from his hour of bed rest only to be bothered again by Albus.  
  
"What the bloody-"  
  
"Not now Severus I fear that there is something wrong in the Grand hall the others are waiting for you outside in costume."  
  
"It seven O' clock in the morning! Do I have to do this in costume?" Snape asked still adjusting his blurry vision. Dumbledore shook his head.  
  
"I'd accompany you, but I am busy...just go out there." Dumbledore said as Snape shut his door nearly taking off the Dumbledore's nose. Dumbledore gave a sigh and told the others who were waiting impatiently outside to wait.  
  
Snape bustled round in the darkness and mess of his room to put on his costume. "There has got to be an easier way to do this." He thought to himself as he shoved his foot into the boot. It took him about fifteen minutes to get ready. He came out carefully out of the door.  
  
"You're worse than a girl..." grumbled Sinistra glaring at him through bloodshot eyes. Minerva smirked at this and turned to leave towards the Great Hall. Flitwick followed suit. Snape had a random thought, "I never knew how much Flitwick looked like an oompa loompa... I really need caffeine."  
They all continued to walk down the dimly lit halls towards the Great Hall. Each one keeping their eyes open incase there was some student coming. The neared the place they had been earlier that morning.  
  
"There shouldn't be any students in there..." Minerva said trying hard to reassure herself more than the other justice friends. She opened he door...  
  
Time froze as their stomachs sank to the floor. The students were quietly eating their breakfast in the hall. It didn't take long for all of them to see their much-respected teachers in costumes resembling those of the muggle comic book heroes. They sat opened mouthed and shocked at the sight of it all.  
  
"This is all you're fault if you hadn't taken so long!" Sinistra said slapping Snape in the arm.  
  
"Oh it's always my fault isn't it Auriga!" Snape said flushing with anger. Not on sound emerged from the students. Minerva stood there and suddenly began to hum a familiar tune. Too familiar...  
  
"Minerva...no!" Snape begged.  
  
"Just sing Severus, like we all did five weeks ago at our staff meeting... they'll think it was too insane. Come on we've all done this..." Minerva said as she began to hum the music louder starting the very familiar song. Sinistra and Flitwick began to perform several familiar disco moves. Snape hook his head, but Minerva through him a most murderous look. He was a dead man anyway. Snape began to sing as the others began to hum and do the back music for him.  
  
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man no time to talk.  
  
Music's loud and women warm, I've been kicked round since I was born and now it's all  
  
right its okay you may look the other way." Snape took a deep breath and sang as he  
  
performed the moonwalk. "We can try and understand the New York Times' effect on  
  
man. Whether you're a brother whether you're a mother you're staying alive, staying  
  
alive! Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking you're staying alive, staying alive."  
  
Now all of them join the chorus.  
  
"Ah ha ha ha staying alive...staying alive...Ah ha ha ha ...staying alive..."  
  
Sinistra, Flitwick and Minerva sang in unison. They all formed into a line and began to do the "can can" as they hummed the musical part of the song. Snape starts again.  
  
"Well now I get... low and I get high, and if I can't get either I really try...got the wings of heaven on my shoes. I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose. You know its all right it's okay I'll live to see another day." Another deep breathe, "We can try and understand the New York Times' effect on man. Whether you're a brother whether you're a mother you're staying alive, staying alive! Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking you're staying alive, staying alive!"  
  
"Ah ha ha ha staying alive...staying alive...Ah ha ha ha...staying alive....!!!!" They all dance with perfection and even Snape does the splits. All their voices get low as the sing the last small part of the song.  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah. Staying alive!!!!"  
  
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man no time to talk.  
  
Music's loud and women warm, I've been kicked round since I was born and now it's all  
  
right its okay you may look the other way. We can try and understand the New York  
  
Times' effect on man. Whether you're a brother whether you're a mother you're staying  
  
alive, staying alive! Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking you're staying alive,  
  
staying alive."  
  
"Ah ha ha ha staying alive...staying alive...Ah ha ha ha...staying alive...!"  
  
"Staying alive...staying alive...ah ha ha ha staying alive!"  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah."  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah. Staying alive!!!!"  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah."  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah. Staying alive!!!!"  
  
"Life going no where...somebody help me now! Somebody help me...yeah!"  
  
Life going nowhere somebody help me now...help yeah." They keep repeating this as they leave the hall in a "can can" line, waving goodbye to the dumbstruck students, echoing the song as they left.  
  
Minerva closed the door with exasperation. Flitwick was rolling on the floor with laughter, kicking his little legs up in the air. Even Snape had a small grin on his face. The faces on the children were really hysterical. Sinistra was blushing with embarrassment.  
  
"Lets go, I don't think there was anything wrong here..." Sinistra said stifling her laughter. They all got up and went with some resentment to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Chocolate Beans." Minerva told the gargoyle. The stone statue began to spiral upward revealing the stairs. All entered the case of stairs easily except Sinistra had a hard time. Her wings didn't want to go through. After five minutes she finally made it to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Bravo...Bravo... all of you have excellent singing voices...it was a really nice rendition of the Bee Gees Batman."  
  
"There was nothing wrong down there!" Minerva exclaimed with exhaust.  
  
"I know I was merely testing your performance under stress or in this case risking your dignity in front of the students. You handled it quite well indeed."  
  
"A test?" Flitwick said very tired.  
  
"Listen, I know you are all tired, so I am canceling all classes today. Tonight we'll all have to patrol the school and I believe we all need to learn some fighting skills without the use of a wand. My office after dinner then Go and get some rest you all look like crap." With that said the others left to their living areas...not sure if they could go on with this charade any longer.  
  
#$%#$%#$%#$%  
  
Oh my...what have I done... well I hope you enjoyed it. Any suggestions are welcome any flames or constructive criticism as I like to call it, is welcome as well, just don't swear at me please! ( **R&R** ( 


	4. Dungbombs and Ninjas

Disclaimer: I don't own anything....yet...no but really none of it is mine...blah blah blah...I need chocolate...blah blah blah...I'm insane...blah blah blah...  
  
Authors note: Please review! It makes me feel loved and believe me I need all the love I can get. So please review, your input is just as important. Flames are welcome!  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Capitulo 4 Dung bombs and Ninjas  
  
"Thank you so much for coming tonight, as I said we are all going to learn some fighting skills. Madame Pomfrey will be teaching you tonight."  
  
The School nurse came out giving each a small smile. Poppy was wearing a black ninja suit and on her side a samurai sword hung. The others acted with little surprise. With the past events nothing was really unbelievable.  
  
"Okay I would like to show you some things first. You must repeat every step I do. This form of fighting is known as kung fu." Poppy began to do some intricate kicks and punches. The others tried, but were failing miserably. Eventually after about an hour they were kind of getting a feel for it.  
  
"Okay, now Minerva and Severus onto the mat. You two will battle first. The first one to fall out of the mat loses." Poppy said indicating them to step onto the mat. "Are you ready?" She asked both of them.  
  
"I've been ready for fifteen years." Minerva retorted seizing up her fists. Poppy reiterated the rules again and let them begin. Minerva gave a scream like Xena and ran up to Snape and socked him. He staggered slightly with shock. He then dropped to the floor and tripped Minerva. She however quickly bounced off the ground. She attempted to kick Snape's head, but he ducked just in time. Snape Picked her up attempting to throw her off the mat but she gave him something like the nerve pinch and his grip weakened allowing her to get off.  
  
"Today is a good day to die." Minerva said getting Snape into a hemlock. He elbowed her in the stomach.  
  
"Indeed it is Wonder Woman." He retorted. They both got on an opposite side ready to run into each other and rip each other's throats out. They ran but were suddenly stopped. They found themselves levitating.  
  
"Enough, you two are going to kill each other. Flitwick and Sinistra up on the mat." Poppy said settling down Minerva and Snape to the floor. They both bowed and began to fight.  
Flitwick jumped high into the air and kicked Auriga squarely on the head. Sinistra gave him a powerful blow in the stomach. Flitwick again went to kick her in the face but this time Auriga caught him in mid air.  
  
"No you don't." She said as she placed him off the net.  
  
"That wasn't fair." Flitwick said upset.  
  
"All right, Listen Auriga next time don't do that. Flitwick watch Star Wars Episode II." Poppy said. They all nodded.  
  
"Well that's all the time for lessons now, Piece of advice to all of you however. Girls if all else fails kick them were the sun don't shine and Men just be careful." And with that Poppy left. Dumbledore looked at them all and gave them pleasant smile.  
  
"Good Job all of you...now its time to patrol the school. Filch has told me that someone's been lighting up dung bombs along the school corridors. Weasleys perhaps go and patrol."  
  
"What you aren't coming?" Snape said angrily.  
  
"Not tonight. I am very busy... now please go and protect the school! Somethng evil may be prowling about. If I can I will join you later."  
  
The others mumbled softly and left Dumbledore's office.  
  
@-@  
  
"So here we are in costume...ten o'clock at night everyone should be at bed... This is professor Flitwick keeping recording of our patrol tonight. The purpose of this recording is to keep evidence of what we do and for future posterity. In other words I really have no purpose for this recording-  
  
"Flitwick will you cut that out!" Minerva said interrupting Flitwick's conversation with his small recorder. Flitwick ignored her and continued to talk into it.  
  
-So before I was so rudely interrupted we are now patrolling the schools in the company of Batman, Hawkgirl, and Wonder Woman, Superman is absent...At this moment we believe that someone has been dropping dung bombs along the corridor. We believe this is the work of the Weasly twins we are here to investigate."  
  
"So here is a random thought, I think we should all have theme songs." Sinistra said rather enthusiastically.  
  
"ARE YOU NUTTERS?" Snape said looking at Auriga as if she where infected with rabies.  
  
"No, I mean we are already in costume and I guess there's really no harm in it...I mean yours is a given Batman, but I don't know I've been thinking about it..." Flitwick cut into Auriga's response.  
  
"You know what I think I know mine... How' bout the Star Wars theme song... John Williams is so cool..."  
  
"If you think it suits you...How about you Minerva?"  
  
"I don't know um what about that song... "Hero" sounds good."  
  
"I cannot believe we are having this conversation." Snape said again, "we have more important things to do."  
  
"Fun sucker!" Sinistra said batting her wings. They walked around the corridor quietly. They went completely around the entire school and were ready to call it night. "Well I guess we can catch them tomorrow night." Minerva said taking her tiara off in retirement.  
  
"Yeah lets call it a night." Flitwick said while turning off his recorder. Suddenly a cloud a smoke and a foul stench erupted from one off the armored suits.  
  
"What the heck?" Auriga said brandishing her mace. Snape stepped forward and scrutinized the smoking Armour.  
  
"They all have dung bombs in them. They have obviously been charmed to go off at a certain time." He said clenching his fists.  
  
"No doubt the work of those Redheaded Tricksters...You got to give'em credit though. This is awesome, something I would have done if was their age." Auriga said with a nostalgic sigh.  
  
"Would have?" Minerva said holding her nose, "This thing is giving me a headache, I swear when I get my hand on those two..."  
  
"Well we have to stop the others before they start to go off. I guess they must have placed it all over the schools armored suits."  
  
"All of them, but why now? It wouldn't be very logical..." Sinistra said with a paranoid voice.  
  
"Are you suggesting that they are here?" Minerva said taking a rather offensive position.  
  
"They've caught on to us...they want to catch us like this." Snape said equally paranoid.  
  
Something moved in the darkness only partially caught in moonlight. Red hair.  
  
&*&*&*&*&  
  
Dun dun dun!!! What will happen next! Tune in the next chapter! Same bat- channel same bat-time! R&R por favor! 


	5. Redheads

Disclaimer: I am getting so tired of writing this. I don't own crap! I don't own Harry Potter and I certainly do not own DC Comics. If I did why would I write this stuff? Come on people who read this stuff should know by now. In fact I think someone should write a disclaimer to take care of all disclaimers!! Mmm...enough of that. On with the story...  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 5 Redheads  
  
"Are you suggesting that they are here?" Minerva said taking a rather offensive position.  
  
"They've caught on to us...they want to catch us like this." Snape said equally paranoid.  
  
Something moved in the darkness only partially caught in moonlight. Red hair. "Did you see that?" Flitwick said pointing at that direction, they all commenced to walk over there. The stench of the dungbomb grew, as they got closer. Sinistra pinched her nose, while maintaining her mace in her hand. Suspense grew as they got closer and closer. Nothing prepared them for what came next.  
A bright, but instant flash of light broke the silence. All of them jumped in surprise. As their vision cleared up they could see, two tall boys with flaming red hair, rolling on the ground with laughter.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" Minerva scowled at them. They got up from the ground still shaking with laughter.  
  
"This is precious! Hahaha! I can't believe this...Professor Snape? Flitwick? McGonagall? Sinistra! Hahaha!" Both of the twins broke down again into hysterical laughter.  
  
"This is not funny you two! What are you doing up at this hour, putting dungbombs in the armory! 50 points from each of you!!" Minerva snapped at them.  
  
They stood up dusting themselves trying, but failing, to keep a straight face.  
  
"You honestly think we were going to allow you all to go about without being troubled?" Fred asked.  
  
"Go back to your dormitories girls!" Snape said angrily.  
  
"Oh come on... we want part of this too!" The twins asked eagerly.  
  
"Absolutely out of the question! There is no way we'll allow you to join us! This is serious business!" Minerva yelled at them.  
  
George took out his camera and took a picture of them. They all blinked wildly trying to regain their eyesight.  
  
"This says different!" George countered.  
  
"We can post these pictures all over the school...your secret will be out!" Fred said seriously.  
  
"What will the slytherins think? Seeing their beloved Snape in tights." George said grinning, "Suits you anyway, batty."  
  
"Watch it!" Snape said pointing his finger at them.  
  
"Look all we want is this school to be safe." George said a little too innocently.  
  
"Keep the school safe? My big fat butt you do! No way I mean what could you possibly offer us?" Sinistra grabbed her mace and waved it threateningly.  
  
"Well oh I don't know...we just happen to practically know, every secret entrance and room in this place and well, we just happen to have these pictures of you at hogshead after to much fire whiskey and of course enough pictures of all of you in costume to fill a scrapbook!"  
  
Sinistra blanched while Flitwick gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
"You boys are in a lot of trouble!"  
  
"You are not in a position to argue or complain." Fred said calmly.  
  
"So when do we start?" George said eagerly rubbing his hands.  
  
"As of right now!" A voice said from the distance.  
  
"Who was that?" Flitwick said.  
  
Minerva pointed at the ceiling, "Look it's a plane!"  
  
"No a bird!" Snape countered.  
  
"No it's Superman!" The twins said as Dumbledore descended from the ceiling, gracefully landing on the floor.  
  
"How did you mange that?" Minerva asked incredulously.  
  
"CGI Minerva...CGI." Dumbledore said walking over to them.  
  
"So who are we?" The twins asked Dumbledore.  
  
"Your not serious!" Snape said throwing his hands up in the air.  
  
"Quite serious, Batman. Now lets see here. George you'll be Batman's companion, Robin. And Fred, I think you can be the Green Lantern."  
  
"All right I get to pester Snape!" George said triumphantly.  
  
"I get to wear a superpower ring!" Fred said also very happy.  
  
"Well that settles things." Dumbledore said posing gallantly.  
  
"Give it a rest, Albus." Minerva said angrily.  
  
"I am going to bed if anyone dares disturb me they'll find themselves in a motel six, inside tub filled with ice and their kidneys missing" Sinistra said going back.  
  
"Amen to that sister." Minerva said going after her. Snape glared at the twins and left along with the petit Flitwick.  
  
"Well I'll be going too" Dumbledore said "flying" away.  
  
The Twins gave each other a high five.  
  
"Well mission accomplished." George said grinning.  
  
"Yep...Snape in tights! Hahaha! I wonder if we'll be able to keep this one secret."  
  
So as our Boy wonder and the Green Lantern disappear into the darkness what will be in store for our heroes? What evils await them? No really what's going to happen next? I really don't know. I guess you'll just have to see.  
  
@#@#@#@#@  
  
So what's up? I need some suggestions and Ideas for future chapters. Should I keep going? Should I have more chocolate? Should I get a life? Should I get Snape married? Come on I need ideas! So please Review! 


	6. Of Vampires and Alanna

Disclaimer: No I do not own Harry Potter or D.C. Comics. I mean if I did, I seriously would not have killed off Sirius (no pun intended). Then again he might not really be dead...*evil grin*...anyways Thank You all for the reviews I really appreciate them and I feel loved when I do =)  
  
Authors note: Well thanks for all the suggestions. I am adding a new character called Alanna * smile* I dedicate this chapter to Alanna Heitman...and um yeah enjoy it.  
  
* *= Thought DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 6 Of Vampires and Alanna  
  
"Can you believe he actually let them join!" Sinistra said over her cup of tea. Minerva sighed putting another lump of sugar in her tea.  
  
"Well I don't know if Albus is crazy or is just testing us. To see how far our loyalties will extend."  
  
"He knows we would never betray the order. I'd rather die than to allow Voldemort have his way with me or anyone else."  
  
"I know Auriga. Any of us would, I trust in Dumbledore so I suppose we should continue to do this. I mean after all this is for the safety of the children."  
  
"Yeah the safety of this school lies in the hands of us and two redheads with absolutely no regard for the rules*sigh*"  
  
********  
  
Alanna Andromedae was walking down the corridors her friends George and Fred Weasley, which were acting more giddy than usual. She had known them since they were little. If it weren't for the hair they would all three be considered triplets conjoined at the hips.  
  
"All right what are you two not telling me?" Alanna asked stopping them in the corridor.  
  
"Whatever do you mean Alanna?" George said with a kindness that was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
" You guys are way too rambunctious. Fred your eyes are twinkling and George you are being very nice to first years."  
  
"I really don't know what you're talking about." George said as he threw a chocolate frog on an unsuspecting first year girl's head.  
  
"Come on cut the crap..." Alanna said hurt.  
  
"Really Alanna there is nothing going on." George said sincerely.  
  
"Come on lets go to Hogsmeade!" Fred said trying to change the subject, "Potions is up next and I don't feel like going."  
  
"Agreed. Lets go Alanna?" George asked a very upset Alanna.  
  
"Sure." She said flatly. *Maybe there really isn't anything going on...oh come Alanna these two! How long have you known them? Since birth. I'll just have to go and investigate latter...grin. *  
  
******  
  
Later that night at Dumbledore office...  
  
"Justice League there is an intruder amongst us." Dumbledore said gravely.  
  
"Are you sure?" Minerva said eyeing him carefully.  
  
"Quite sure."  
  
"How sure?" Snape asked.  
  
"Very sure! Now listen this morning we found one of our houselves, Dobby, missing half of his blood."  
  
"Is he all right?" Minerva asked putting her hand over her mouth.  
  
"Yes he's fine, but you know there is a vampire in this school as of now."  
  
"Awesome!" The twins exclaimed.  
  
"Awesome? Do you know what these things can do to you! Those things you read in you texts books make them look like cream puffs. They are bloodthirsty demons. And you two are in more danger than we are." Sinistra said angrily.  
  
"Right." The twins said sarcastically.  
  
"Vampires love Redheads."  
  
"You're bluffing." George said gulping.  
  
"Are you feeling lucky?" Sinistra said evenly.  
  
The twins got silent and looked at Dumbledore. All of them were trying to keep in their laughter. The look on the twin's faces was priceless.  
  
"Well anyways we are going to hunt for vamp." Dumbledore said perfectly containing his amusement.  
  
"The ol' stake in the heart doesn't work. We'll have to go with the Soilel Charm." Flitwick said quietly.  
  
" Yes I suppose w will have to use wands this time, but You'll take care of that won't you Flash?" Dumbledore nodded at Flitwick.  
  
"All right lets go then! In brightest day and darkest night no evil shall escape my sight. For those who worship evil beware of Green Lanterns might." Fred said getting up and clapping his hands together.  
  
"Holy corny phrases Green Lantern, what was that all about?"  
  
"I always wanted to say that." Fred said putting one hand on his face melodramatically. The others moved past them out of the room.  
  
Snape gently nudged Sinistra in the ribcage.  
  
"Vampires love redheads. Where did you get that one?" Snape whispered trying to conceal a grin.  
  
"I don't know, but did you see the looks on their faces?"  
  
"Priceless."  
  
*******  
  
Alanna had been following the twins ever since they left their dorms at about nine. She had lost track of them however, and was now lost in a very big school at ten o'clock at night.  
  
* After seven years of sneaking around this school hiding and playing pranks on teachers and kids I somehow managed to get lost! Of all nights for this to happen it had to be this one! When I find out what they've been doing I am so going to fry them over a fire! *  
  
Alanna walked quietly down the hall. She kept looking for familiar objects to help identify where she was exactly. She recognized a statue and went towards it. However, she was stopped in her tracks when she heard several footsteps coming in her direction. She dashed to the statue and hid next to it. She heard familiar voices coming down the hall.  
  
"Would you stop doing that?" Snape's voice echoed through the hall.  
  
"Stop what Batman?" George voice could be heard.  
  
* George? Batman? What is going on out there? * Alanna thought to herself. She very carefully looked out from the statue. She looked in surprise as Snape, McGonagall, Sinistra and Flitwick along with the twins were in costume. * What is going on? Snape in tights? No stop that's gross! Why are they all dressed like that? I knew I shouldn't have drunk any of that tea I found in Georges pocket! Now I am hallucinating! *  
  
Alanna kept still. She didn't know whether to run for it or confront them. Alanna again poked her head from the statue to take a better look, but she suddenly felt a cold hand grab hold of her neck. It lifted her from the ground, and made her face it. She looked into the pale face of a man. *No doubt a vampire oh crap why does this always happen to me? *  
  
"Come on give me a little scream..." The vampire whispered to her. Although that was Alanna's first instinct she wasn't going to give it the satisfaction of hearing her scream.  
  
"I really wouldn't do anything to me." She said trying to inhibit her fear.  
  
"Now why is that?" The vampire said flaunting his pointed teeth.  
  
"Because, we've got you surrounded." Dumbledore said as the "justice league" formed a half circle around the Vampire and Alanna.  
  
"Aww...if it isn't Albus Dumbledore...and his friends." The vampire said tightening his grip on Alanna's neck.  
  
"Ah crap! Alanna is that you?" Fred said exasperated.  
  
"Hehehe. Hi guys." Alanna said nervously and then hissed, "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Enough small talk. Listen I'll bargain with you. Give me Harry Potter and you can have this back." The Vampire said licking his sharp teeth.  
  
"You are in no condition to bargain. Now drop the girl!" Snape said pointing his wand at it.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No."  
"Yes!"  
  
"No_"  
  
"Enough of this crap!!!" Alanna said kicking her adrenaline into full power. She kicked the vampire in the groin and flipped him over her back. She kicked him in the stomach. Flitwick came around to finish the vampire off.  
  
"Solaris Totalus!!" Flitwick yelled as he pointed his wand at the vampire. A beautiful ray of light shot forth from his wand and engulfed the being in light. The vampire vanished in smoke.  
  
"Wow! That was cool!" George said looking at Alanna.  
  
"I cannot believe this is happening!" Minerva said fatigued.  
  
"All right Miss Andromedae. Off you go." Snape said trying to get rid of her.  
  
"Don't you give me any of this "miss" thing why are you guys like this?" Alanna said angry.  
  
"Miss Andromedae you are not to repeat what you saw tonight! Do you understand you could have been in serious danger! What may I ask are you doing out at this hour of the night as well?" Minerva asked her student angrily. Alanna looked down at the floor.  
  
"If you aren't going to answer?" Sinistra said batting her wings.  
  
"I just took down a Vampire! And If Fred and George are part of this I don't see why I can't be either?" Alanna said angrily. Dumbledore nodded his head.  
  
"*Sigh* She has a point. Well I suppose you can be...Catwoman."  
  
"Cool!" Alanna said joining Fred and George.  
  
"Dumbledore?" Minerva asked incredulously.  
  
"Superman."  
  
"Grrr...Superman, if we keep this up every kid in this school will be part of the "Justice League"!"  
  
"Fine this is it...no more, next person who wants to join the league will have their memory swiped." Snape said rather agitated. Dumbledore just nodded and looked t Alanna. "Welcome to the Justice League of Hogwarts."  
  
******* Did you like it?  
  
Qu'est que Je vais faire? Je ne se pas? I will stop speaking French now...okay so what now? Voldemort is going to get involved with this somehow. And Alanna? Hmmm? Well just Review and input your ideas and comments please! I love fanfiction! !!!!Review!!! 


	7. The More the Merrier

Disclaimer: Well here we are once again. I don¡¯t own anything all right! I wish I owned Spock AND Snape, but I don¡¯t all right. And no I do not own Marvel or DC comics or Harry Potter. None of it is mine, so stop thinking that it is...deep breath...smile  
  
Authors Note: Well after my last couple of reviews it has been suggested that I use Spiderman and other various superheroes and villains. I will try my best. I mean last week I lost thirty points from my history homework and stuff because I procrastinate so that I can write for all of you, not that I am complaining though I love to write this fic! It is really fun to come up with stuff...who needs school anyway...just kidding kids stay in school and don¡¯t do drugs...or else! Oh and by the way if you want love in this story I was kind of intending it to be a Snape/ Sinistra thing, but really light because this is supposed to be funny and well random. CitrineCastle thank you so much for all the wonderful Ideas!  
  
Enjoy  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 7 The More the Merrier.  
  
¡°Well Justice League it now seems that Harry Potter is now in danger.¡± Dumbledore said grimly to all of them.  
  
¡°Thank you Captain Obvious.¡± Minerva muttered to herself. As Minerva looked back at Dumbledore to make another comment she was interrupted by a loud scream. Trelawney came bursting in through the door in hysterics screaming about something quite macabre.  
  
¡°What is that old cow crying about now?¡± Snape could be heard saying over her intolerable yelps.  
  
¡°Oh Albus! Albus! Oh!!! Death I fear has come upon this school. Ohhhh! I think it be that boy! That poor doomed boy Harry! I see he is going to die!¡±  
  
¡°What else is new?¡± Minerva croaked, as Trelawney gasped she looked around and saw the staff and students. ¡°What is happening here? Why are you in costume? Snape? Albus!¡± Suddenly she remembered what she was yelling about and began her horrible yelps.  
  
¡°Oh my gosh not even in costume...she needs to be fired that cow does.¡± George whispered to Fred. Alanna was having a hard time containing her laughter as Trelawney continued to rant about Harry dieing. Dumbledore rose from his chair and went over to shake her.  
  
¡°Get a hold of yourself Sibyll!¡± Dumbledore commanded, but she continued to cry about Harry.  
  
SMACK ¡°Get a grip!!¡± Minerva yelled at a now mellowing and red-faced Trelawney. She slumped on a chair and began to cry softly, the mark of a hand clearly visible on her old and rigid face. She looked up at them with her ridiculously magnified blue wet eyes.  
  
¡°He¡¯s in danger! I saw it all happen. Somewhere in the green house! I feel an evil entity has taken control of Professor Sprout. And that poor, but idiotic Harry is prowling the school! Ohhh! He is doomed!¡± She began to cry again.  
  
¡°Oh for cripes sake.¡± Sinistra said calmly rubbing her temples.  
  
¡°We¡¯ll go and investigate. Trelawney you stay here and try and shut up. Okay people let us go!¡±  
  
Dun dun dun dun...dun...dududu dun dun dududu dun dun dudududun! (Star Wars Theme as they all leave the room. I ¢¾ John Williams! He had better win an Oscar for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...his music is so beautiful it gives me chills!! ¡®nuff said.)  
  
¡°So what¡¯s the plan given that Trelawney isn¡¯t drunk or something?¡± Snape said as they all ran down the corridor to the green houses. Dumbledore looked at him with mild irritation.  
  
¡°Just wing it Batman.¡± Dumbledore said running ahead of the group.  
  
¡°Holy crap, Batman I think that Superman just made a funny.¡± George said grinning innocently. Snape looked at him and sneered.  
  
¡°Two words Robin, SHUT UP!¡± Snape said very upset and ran ahead of him.  
  
Alanna continued to run backwards, laughing at George, who threw her an evil glare as she stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
¡°Hahaha! Loser!¡± Alanna whispered mockingly at him.  
  
Wham  
  
Alanna had slammed into a statue. George came over to her snickering.  
  
¡°Serves you right, don¡¯t worry nobody saw that.¡± He said as he picked her up. She looked mockingly at him.  
  
¡°I had way to much chocolate.¡± She said trying to catch up with the rest, ¡°10 galleons say that Trelawney is drunk.¡± She said mischievously.  
  
¡°You know that¡¯s not fair!¡± George protested, ¡°She probably really is!¡±  
  
Moving on from this randomness...  
  
Under an invisibility cloak somewhere in the Herbology area the voices of three students could be heard.  
  
¡°Remind me why ouch we are here again.¡± Ron complained.  
  
¡°Because we need some mandrakes leavesouch, cut that out for the polyjuice potion.¡±  
  
¡°I don¡¯t get it why not take some from Snape¡¯s ouch room?¡± Harry asked.  
  
¡°Your intelligence Harry never ceases to amaze me. Think logically, if Snape did have any why would we be here? My first choice as always is to take stuff from his office, but he didn¡¯t have any! Gosh, Harry always keep this in mind ¡® There is such thing as a stupid question¡¯¡±  
  
¡°Sorry Almighty Brain of the Universe!¡± Harry retorted.  
  
¡°Apology accepted.¡±  
  
¡°Are we there yet?¡± Ron complained.  
  
¡°Yeah, we¡¯re here.¡± Hermione said pulling off the cloak.  
  
¡°Well what now?¡± Ron said flatly.  
  
¡°I think that she keeps them pickled up in that cabinet. It will only take a sec.¡±  
  
She walked past the odd flowers and herbs up to Professor Sprout¡¯s desk. She opened the cabinet gently and grabbed hold of the jar with Mandrake leaves.  
  
¡°Found them!¡±  
  
¡°All right let¡¯s get out of this place it really is giving me the creeps.¡± Ron said quietly.  
  
That¡¯s not all it will give you  
  
¡°Who was that?¡± Hermione asked, ¡°Gasp! Where is Harry?¡±  
  
¡°He was here just seconds ago!¡± Ron exclaimed.  
  
¡°Harry where are you? This isn¡¯t funny.¡±  
¡°Oh that¡¯s too bad I think it¡¯s hilarious...¡± The cold feminine voice came from above.  
  
¡°Something fishy is going on here.¡± Ron said looking around. Just as he spoke several vines came upon them. The rubbery green vines wrapped themselves around Ron and Hermione and pulled them up above the ground.  
  
¡°Why does this not surprise me?¡± Ron said rather flatly. A high pitch laugh descended towards them. Woman in clad in green and fiery red hair faced them.  
  
¡°Professor Sprout!?¡± They both shouted in unison.  
  
¡°Hahaha no silly children! It is I Poison Ivy.¡±  
  
¡°Wow! You¡¯d think with all that weight, those vines holding you would have broken up.¡±  
  
¡°Shut up!¡± Snapped Poison Ivy/Sprout.  
  
¡°Why are you doing this!?¡± Hermione yelled at her.  
  
¡°Oh you know why...the whole must kill Harry because the dark lord said so thing...I really don¡¯t have anything against the kid, but c¡¯est la vie.¡±  
  
¡°Good ¡®nuff reason for me.¡± Ron said shrugging. Hermione groaned at this.  
  
#####  
  
Flitwick opened the door of the Herbology room cautiously while humming the mission impossible theme.  
  
¡°Would you hurry up?¡± Sinistra said impatiently.  
  
¡°Sorry.¡± Flitwick said, stifling his humming.  
  
The door opened wide allowing all eight of them to enter. What they saw next shocked them into next week.  
  
Next week...(just kidding)  
  
¡°Professor Sprout? What are you doing up there?¡± Dumbledore asked Ivy.  
  
¡°Its Ivy...um...err...superman?¡±  
  
¡°Superman!!!¡± Hermione and Ron shouted and looked down. They were however, disappointed to see that it was only Dumbledore.  
  
¡°Its only Dumbledore...Dumbledore!?¡± Ron said again ecstatically wriggling in his vines.  
  
¡°Silence!!¡± Ivy shouted at Hermione and Ron. She made it so the vines wrapped tighter around them.  
  
¡°Hey we can use some help here!¡± Hermione shouted.  
  
¡°I think we should leave them there.¡± Snape said sarcastically, ¡°Serves them all right for being out past curfew. Why are you here any way Mr. And Mrs. Weasley?¡±  
  
Both of them deeply blushed. Hermione tried to contain her anger as she spoke to Snape.  
  
¡°Why should I tell you?¡±  
  
¡°You don¡¯t need to tell me actually I know...now...loser...You obviously did not find the mandrake leaves in my office...so here we are...you know if you really want to get away with anything don¡¯t leave any evidence. For the past five years I¡¯ve found several strand of long frizzy brown hair. You really need to cut up those split ends.¡±  
  
Hermione was seething with fury. She was about to burst out in a string of insults had Ivy not interrupted.  
  
¡°Okay let¡¯s get back to this situation. Listen I got the boy. I really don¡¯t need these two, however, you have to let me go unless you want these two turned into mulch.¡±  
  
Sinistra elbowed Minerva slightly in the arm.  
  
¡° You¡¯d think with all the weight she packed those vines would rip?¡± She whispered.  
  
¡°It¡¯s a miracle.¡±  
  
Dumbledore walked closer to Ivy. The others watched with very little enthusiasm. They were all little disappointed because they lost their bets. Trelawney really wasn¡¯t drunk.  
  
¡°You don¡¯t have a chance, Poison Ivy! Let Harry and the others go, or I¡¯ll use my Laser vision.¡±  
  
Snape looked at him incredulously, ¡°Laser Vision? What are you on and why aren¡¯t you sharing!¡± Ivy wriggled in the vines.  
  
¡°You can¡¯t defeat me. Flowers attack!¡±  
  
¡°Flowers? How corny can you get?¡± Ron said at Ivy looking at her in disgust.  
  
Before any of the flowers could attack, Dumbledore pulled out his laser pen and pointed the thin red beams into Ivy/ Sprout¡¯s eyes.  
  
¡°Ahh! My eyes! It burns!¡± Ivy placed her hands on her eyes. She lost her balance and fell of her vines. She hit the ground with a loud thud.  
  
¡°Wow, I¡¯m surprised there was no earthquake!¡± George commented rather loudly.  
  
They surrounded Sprouts plump form carefully. Without much warning a green Vapor-like gas erupted from Sprout¡¯s back.  
  
¡°Voldemort shall have his will!!!!¡± The green entity yelled as it evaporated into nothingness.  
  
¡°Cool...¡± Fred said s he watched the vapor dissolve. The vines, which held Hermione and Ron, gently limped and allowed them to break loose and fall onto the floor softly. Harry appeared out of the back.  
  
¡°You were there the whole time!¡± Ron said looking at Harry angrily.  
  
¡°What? No, I went to the bathroom.¡±  
  
¡°She was bluffing!¡± Hermione said smacking her fore head, ¡°Oh my holy crap.¡±  
  
¡°All that for nothing...grrr.¡± Sinistra said frustrated.  
  
¡°Well now children it is time to go to bed. You re not in trouble however, I would suggest you don¡¯t do this again!¡± Dumbledore told all three of them.  
  
¡°No you don¡¯t. What¡¯s going on here? Why are you all dressed up as D.C. Comic book characters?¡± Hermione asked looking at all of them curiously.  
  
¡°There is no time to explain, just-¡°  
  
¡°Oh for crying out loud, just use a memory charm!¡± Snape sneered.  
  
¡°You can¡¯t do that! I¡¯ll scream!¡± Harry threatened.  
  
¡°Harry don¡¯t even...¡±  
  
¡°No one ever tells me anything!! I am so lonely!!¡± Harry said putting up an act.  
  
¡°All right shut it and get out!¡± Snape yelled back at Harry.  
  
¡°Oh come on I want to be in a costume. Why are George, Fred and Alanna in costume?¡±  
  
¡°Because they unfortunately have some unpleasant evidence that can be used against us.¡±  
  
¡°So do we!¡± Ron exclaimed in triumph.  
  
¡°And what could that possibly be?¡± Snape glared at them. Ron indicated Snape to come closer.  
  
¡°What?¡± Snape sneered. Ron pulled out a piece of folded paper from his pocket and gave it to Snape. It read Tall, Dark and Handsome, 38, looking for love of his life. Likes Dancing, Movies and Potion stirring, owl Sevi ¡°Disco Man¡± Snape. Snape face got whiter than usual.  
  
¡°We have plenty of copies...trust me.¡±  
  
¡°Let me take a look at that.¡± Sinistra said as she walked over and picked the paper from Snape¡¯s hand. She read it over quickly.  
  
¡°Dark, Tall and Handsome?¡± Sinistra said trying to fight off her giggles. The others soon understood the content of the note and broke down into hysterical laughter.  
  
¡°All right, alright you can be in...hehehe...Ron, you can be Spiderman despite the fact that he is actually a marvel character...Hermione you can be Batgirl and Harry ...um ...wow ...I don¡¯t know...You can just be Harry Potter.  
  
¡°I feel so unloved.¡±  
  
¡°Give it a rest!!" They all said in Unison.  
  
¡°Sides you¡¯re the one in danger.¡± Flitwick commented.  
  
¡°Fine I¡¯ll make up my own Superhero. I¡¯ll be lightning boy!¡±  
  
¡°Wow you are so original...¡± Hermione stated sarcastically.  
  
¡°All right then that makes twelve of us now in the Justice League of Hogwarts.¡± Minerva said rather flatly, ¡°Which means that no more people shall be emitted. Just nod and Say yea Albus.¡± Dumbledore sighed in agreement.  
  
¡°Well what are we gonna do about her?¡± Flitwick indicated at the unconscious Sprout.  
  
¡°Tell you what lets put her in the infirmary. No one needs to know about this especially her.¡± Sinistra said.  
  
¡°Right¡¯ well its past our bed times!¡± The adolescents said looking at their imaginary wristwatches and running away.  
  
¡°Awe shoot I¡¯d help, but um...I have to tape ¡®Friends¡¯¡± Sinistra said running out of the room.  
  
¡°Mother of pearl! I left the oven on See ya¡¯¡± McGonagall ran as well. Flitwick ran after her.  
  
¡°Love to help carry her to the infirmary, but I forgot to feed Fawkes! ¡® Night Batman.¡± Dumbledore ditched Snape.  
  
Snape was left alone to take on very heavy Professor Sprout, with no wand or assistance.  
  
¡°Why me!¡±  
  
All fades into the darkness...  
  
#######  
  
Phew! Took me an entire week to come up with all that stuff! I am not entirely proud of it, but that will be it till now. Please as always Review!!!! 


	8. Back Pains and Exploding Penguins

Disclaimer: No I don't own a thing not one single thing is mine.  
  
Authors note: Well thank you all very much for reviewing!! I appreciate it a lot. I have never felt so loved...Hope you enjoy this next chapter...(I run to the horizon with cough Snape cough spreading joy)...I am so insane it is not funny anymore. Thank you so much for this Idea ♥Citrine Castle♥. You are a real joy!  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 8 Back Pains and Exploding Penguins.  
  
Snape woke up the next morning with a horrible backache.  
  
"Oh, gods of the Parthenon what did I do to deserve this!" He moaned as he left towards the Great Hall. Not in costume for once. As he carefully walked down the corridor George came up from behind him.  
  
Slam!  
  
"What up Esnapé? (esnapay)" George said after giving Snape a big pat in the back. Snape cringed and looked murderously at George.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"Nothing I just said what's up?"  
  
"The ceiling is up Mr. Weasley. Now if you don't mind-"  
  
"All right, then I'll see you later, Bats." George said giving his potions master one last slap in the back and ran off to eat breakfast. Snape grumbled several curse words to himself as he painfully made his way to the Great Hall. As he entered the dream team were off having a conversation.  
  
"I can't believe that we are doing this!" Hermione said with enthusiasm.  
  
"I get to be Spiderman!" Ron said happily.  
  
"Yes! And I am lightning boy..."  
  
"You do realize you're in more danger now than you were last year. Voldemort is sending his people to break into the school to try and kill you." Hermione said rather nervously.  
  
"Don't tell me what I don't already know. I wish we could use this new found power on that old toad!!"  
  
"I'd love to get back at Umbridge!" Ron said, eyeing the fat old witch sitting in staff table, wearing that fake smile.  
  
"Maybe she'll get possessed by Voldemort!" Harry said rubbing his hands with eagerness.  
  
"That's horrible, but I'd like to kick the crap out of her anyways." Hermione said grinning.  
  
After a very long day  
  
"Well Justice Friends it looks like all is well for now. However, all you now owe me ten galleons." Dumbledore said holding out his hand.  
  
"What!!"  
  
"Trelawney wasn't drunk."  
  
"Ohhh..." The others moaned and gave him ten galleons.  
  
"That'll get me my new stereo...cool." Dumbledore said shoving the golden coins within his pockets, "We must be more alert now than usual. Voldemort won't rest until he gets Harry. Which means that as long as Harry is here this school is in grave danger."  
  
"Its just another nice way to say 'it's all your fault Harry'" Snape scoffed.  
  
"That's a horrible thing to say, Severus." Minerva said furiously.  
  
"What can I say, it's my job." Sinistra gave a small sarcastic laugh at Snape's statement.  
  
"Well anyways its time to patrol the school so lets go." Dumbledore said diverting attention to himself once more. The others got up and left to protect the school.  
  
"Batman what is wrong with you?" Hermione asked a very irate Professor Snape.  
  
"Nothing." He said cringing while rubbing his back. Hermione snorted and walked ahead of him to join "Lightning Boy" and Spiderman.  
  
"What's really wrong with you Snapples?" Sinistra came from behind. Snape mumbled something.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"Don't give that crap. What did you call me?"  
  
"...mumblemumblemumble..."  
  
"What! I swear I am going to hurt you one of theses days. I swear any time some one shows a little compassion towards you, you turn around and bite their heads off-"  
  
"Will you two stop arguing!" Minerva interrupted them.  
  
"I bite their heads off? You're one to talk!"  
  
"Oh ho! No you don't!"  
  
"I swear you two, I'll wipe your memories and you'll find yourselves married if you don't shut up!" Minerva said over their argument. This comment didn't stop them. Minerva rolled her eyes and continued to walk along side the others who were trying really hard to ignore the argument. Dumbledore came to an abrupt stop suddenly.  
  
"What is it Al...Superman?" Minerva asked stopping next to him.  
  
"There is something up ahead."  
  
The others including Snape and Sinistra Stopped and looked up ahead.  
  
"Batman, you see that up ahead. Go and see what it is." Dumbledore said pointing ahead. Snape mumbled something again and went over to it. He bent down to look at it.  
  
"What is it?" Albus said.  
  
"A penguin..."  
  
"Well let's take a look."  
  
"Umm...Why don't you come over here instead?"  
  
"What is wrong, Batman?"  
  
"I can't get up." Snape murmured softly.  
  
"What was that Batman?" Sinistra said to kindly.  
  
"I can't bend up...my back is bloody busted."  
  
"Serves you right." Sinistra scoffed. They all began to laugh softly. Alanna nudged Fred softly.  
  
"He must have busted it last night by carrying Prof. Sprout last night." George snorted with laughter.  
  
"Hey can I get some help here!" Snape said as the little penguin's eyes lit up. "What the crap?" Something inside of him just told him to throw it. So he did away from himself and the others. The little penguin blew up in midair.  
  
"What the crap!" Flitwick said as he the others regained their balance.  
  
"Umm... you guys I need help I can't really move." Snape wined attempting pathetically to go back towards them.  
  
"Hello there. What are you doing out past your bed time?" A croaky voice said from the shadows.  
  
"Ah Crap!" they all said in unison as Umbridge emerged from the shadows.  
  
"Ah crap, indeed. Penguins attack!"  
  
Small little toy-like penguins began to march across the floor. Their little red eyes glowing with death.  
  
Dun Dun dun!!!! What is going to happen next?! Will Snape be able to recuperate in time? Will Umbridge succeed? What am I DOING? Oh well, any suggestion or flames (which I use to light up my life) are welcome! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	9. Popping Penguin and the attack of the sq...

Disclaimer: I can't swear although I do slip a lot, but I really don't own Harry Potter or any DC or Marvel book characters...I know, I know it is hard to believe, but I really don't own them.  
  
Authors note: I am really grateful for all the wonderful feedback given to me. I am really overwhelmed by the reviews that I have received. The ideas that have been given to me are really precious gifts. I know I've done something good perhaps. I dedicate this chapter to one of my inspirations and reasons to keep writing â« Reaka â«  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter Nine the Clash of the Penguins and Squirrels  
  
"Ah crap, indeed. Penguins attack!" Umbridge commanded  
  
Small little toy-like penguins began to march across the floor. They're little red eyes glowing with death. The others were a little unsure of whether to be scared, or laughing. However the new they were in trouble when the first penguins took Snape down.  
  
"Get these things off me!!!Oh! My bloody back!!!!" Snape hollered as the evil penguins trampled all over him pulling his hair and biting him. Umbridge's throaty laugh could be heard as she stepped into the light. Instead of the usual cardigan that she wore, she was vested in a black tuxedo with a tall top hat. A long cigarette (never smoke its not cool!) stuck out from her thin long and chapped lips.  
  
"Tut tut. What's this? Albus Dumbledore in tights. Minerva! I never knew you could all stoop so low...I am the penguin!" She gave that familiar laugh of a penguin (quin quin quin), "And I have come for the Potter boy! You are no match for my arsenal of killer penguins!!!" She said brandishing her umbrella and commanding more killer penguins to attack the Justice league.  
  
Alanna, George and Fred got into a fighting stance as the small penguins began to fly around them.  
  
"Hey! What gives penguins can't fly!" Alanna said trying to claw one of them.  
  
"I guess they can Catwoman." Fred said as he smacked one out of his head.  
  
Meanwhile Hawkgirl was kicking the penguins, which were attacking Snape.  
  
"You have no idea how tempting it is to kick your head!" Sinistra quipped as she crushed one of the penguins with her mace.  
  
"Don't hurt me..." Snape wined pathetically. The penguins were running amok as Minerva was try to lasso one of them with her lasso of truth, while Flitwick was running in circles yelling about how he has a phobia of birds.  
  
Dumbledore and the dream team were also trying to crush the little penguins.  
  
"They're in my hair!!!" Hermione yelled as she tried to shake them out of her bushy hair.  
  
"It will be a miracle if they ever get out of her hair." Ron said trying to keep some of them out of his way.  
  
Umbridge/ Penguin was running around in her suit laughing hysterically. She spotted Lightning Boy and picked him up by the collar.  
  
"Time to give Lord Voldemort a visit." She croaked in his ear. She opened her umbrella and like Marry Poppins (Doesn't belong to me either.) started to fly into the air. Harry kicked his legs to get down, but to no avail.  
  
"Holy crap she's got Harry!" George melodramatically, pointing up. The others looked in horror. Dumbledore fumbled about in his robes to find his wands, but the penguins kept making this impossible.  
  
"You know what this mean, George." Fred said pulling out his wands.  
  
"Squirrels!!" George said enthusiastically, pulling out his wand. The both stood back from the penguins and yelled out, "Squirrelensortia!!!!" A bright purple mass came from their wands. Hundreds of squirrels took form.  
  
"Attack!!" They both commanded. The squirrels yelled something like a battle cry and began to attack the deadly little penguins.  
  
The ferocious little critters began to bite the mechanical penguins heads off. It was like the clone wars accept ten times better. Squirrels and penguins were flying everywhere. While the squirrels were mutilating their enemies, the League was able to concentrate on Harry.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Sinistra said watching helplessly as Harry and Umbridge levitated above the air soon to leave the building.  
  
"I am going to pop that blimp myself!" Hermione said taking a squirrel in her hand. She climbed up the wall (how she did that will always be a mystery to me.) She grabbed hold of the torch thingy for some support.  
  
"Hey you old toad! Say Hi to my friend Nuts!!" Hermione said throwing the squirrel at Umbridge/ Penguin. The small squirrel scurried to Umbridge's butt and bit her.  
  
"Ahhhh!!!! My butt!" She yelled as all of a sudden air started to come out of her, she whizzed around the ceiling like a balloon. Loosing control of the umbrella and her grip on Harry. She let him fall.  
  
"Aahhhh!" Harry yelped. Luckily for him Professor Snape was there to break his fall. Harry landed with a thump. Severus gave a loud oomph. The others just flinched at the impact.  
  
"Ouch, I don't care how greasy he is, that has got to have hurt." George mumbled to himself. Harry rolled off of Snape.  
  
"Sorry Professor..."  
  
"Five points...ouch...gasp... from Gryffindor." He said trying to keep the dignity in his voice.  
  
The squirrels had soon overpowered the little penguins. The entire hallway was filled with nut and bolts, not to mention several severed heads of penguins. Umbridge was still squealing and flying out of control, suddenly her umbrella made a sound of a dieing engine. Umbridge fell to the floor.  
  
"Earthquake!" Fred yelled.  
  
"Shut up Fred." Alanna said rolling her eyes.  
  
The entire League with the exception of Snape, who was still lying on the floor, went over to see Umbridge. She was lying face down.  
  
"Is she alive?" Ron said poking her. Suddenly Umbridge's huge form began to quake like jelly and something like a gray vapor left her body. It evaporated into the air soundlessly.  
  
"Well that was a traumatic experience." Harry said silently.  
  
"What now?" Flitwick asked.  
  
"Lets just leave her here." Minerva said very seriously. Albus shook his head with agreement.  
  
"I want to see what she does about this tomorrow." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
They all began to turn around the opposite direction. They all walked down the hall heads held up high.  
  
"Hey! You guys a little help here!!!" Snape yelled from the door. They all stopped.  
  
"We forgot about Batman." Albus said looking back, "You three go and get him back."  
  
Hermione, Ron and Harry rolled their eyes. They went back to where he was. The each got on an opposite side.  
  
"You have no idea how tempting it is to kick you." Hermione mumbled to herself.  
  
"Five points Ms. Granger" Snape snarled as Ron and Harry grabbed hold of his feet. Hermione grabbed his back.  
  
The night overcame the school as our dream team dragged their most favorite teacher down the hall.  
  
"Lay of the chips, Snape you're heavy."  
  
"Five points from Gryffindor shut up Weasley!"  
  
That was it...holy crap that took a lot of time to write. I am really happy about this chapter. Chapter next week? I really need all the support I can get right now. I have so much stuff to do for only about 18 days of school left! I can make it and so can you! I will graciously take any ideas. Please as always R&R!!!! My love to you all! (I fly away with Sevi) 


	10. Of Batmobiles and Riddles

Disclaimer: No I don't own Harry Potter...hmmm...if I did however Snape would have a lot more scenes in the movie and books...that was really random...I'll shut up now. I also don't own marvel comics or dc comics! They'll probably own me one day... I mean that literally...  
  
Authors Note: Wow, thank you so much for these wonderful ideas! They are wonderfully creative and I really love them. Thank you so much! Of course I will use your suggestions! Citrine Castle you are awesome!!!! Lucius Malfoy lovers I am so sorry...  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 10 Of Batmobiles and Riddles.  
  
One week after the Umbridge incident...  
  
"Well, Justice Friends how are all of you?" Dumbledore said enthusiastically.  
  
They all moaned in acknowledgement of Dumbledore. He lifted his hand in a motion of silence.  
  
"Well it has come to my attention that we need a better way of transportation-crunch" Dumbledore was interrupted by a loud crunch. Everyone turned his or her attention to Snape.  
  
"Crunch-What? -Crunch, crunch, crunch." Snape looked back at them strangely as he popped another Doritos into his mouth. They all rolled their eyes and looked back at Dumbledore.  
  
"Well...um...all right I took the liberty of getting you all that form of transportation." The wall behind Dumbledore shifted a bright light shot out. A dense fog descended onto the floor and colorful laser lights cut threw the air. As the smog cleared up, several bikes and other forms of wheel transportation took form.  
  
"You got to be-crunch-kidding me." Snape said looking at the bikes in disbelief.  
  
"No I am quite serious, Batman. Here this one is yours. You have to share it with Batgirl and Robin." Dumbledore said pointing at a black mountain bike with small plastic bats hanging from the handlebars. Snape almost chocked on his chips.  
  
"See, Batman it has that little thingy on the wheels so it sounds like a motorcycle when you ride." Dumbledore said as Snape's face flushed. Sinistra and McGonagall were howling with laughter.  
  
"The tricycle is yours Flash and Hawkgirl here is one of those razor scooters. Wonder Woman you get the Barbie one and well Spiderman and Lightning Boy you get skateboards."  
  
"AWESOME!" They said in unison.  
  
"Hey what about Alanna and I?" Fred said a little hurt.  
  
"Ah, yes you two...um...here you get roller-skates." Dumbledore said giving them their respective pairs.  
  
They all boarded their vehicles.  
  
"All right then, um Wonder Woman you Catwoman and The Green Lantern take the east wing. The Dynamic trio you go up to the north. Hawkgirl, Flash, Spiderman and Lightning Boy you take the west. I'll go south!"  
  
They all nodded in agreement. And took off to protect the school.  
  
Snape pedaled as fast as he could through the halls. He found it very hard to breath since Hermione was clinging on to him as he went at an alarming rate of three miles per hour. George on the other hand was clearly enjoying himself as he sat on the handlebars clearly blocking Snape's vision.  
  
"Ms. Granger...gasp...you are crushing my trachea!" He said as George gave a big yahoo and spread out his arms.  
  
"I am King of the world!!!" He said.  
  
"Shut up!" Snape said peddling faster trying to see if he could "accidentally" cause both Hermione and George to fall off.  
  
"Batman? Look up ahead, I see something." George said pointing up ahead. Snape pressed the brakes abruptly causing Fred to fall forward.  
  
"Inertia is a property of matter Mr. Weasley, I'd remember that." Snape said as Hermione let go of him and disembarked off the bike to help George. Snape went passed them allowing his cape to hit them in them face. He went nearer to the object. He was still paranoid ever since the penguins so he did not get to close to the object. The small object was like a box. It was decorated with green sequins and a black question mark on the top. Hermione went over to it.  
  
"Open it up you big baby." Hermione said scrutinizing Snape. He sneered and picked up the box.  
  
"You open it up, Ms. Granger." He said tossing the box at her. Hermione caught it and threw it to George.  
  
"You two honestly..." He said ripping the top off the box. A voice escaped from the box...  
  
Guess what it is? Potter is gone, your attempts were quite shoddy, to find him alive you must visit the?  
  
"It's a riddle." Hermione stated the obvious.  
  
"What's the answer?" George said.  
  
"Potty..." The word barely made its way out of Snape's mouth.  
  
"It can't be that obvious." Hermione said looking at Snape incredulously.  
  
"To the Batmobile!" George announced.  
  
The others in the group were also finding similar clues...  
  
"Hey! Where's Harry!" Ron said looking around. Sinistra smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand.  
  
"You have got to be kidding me!" She said fluttering her wings.  
  
"Spiderman I thought you were skating next to him!" Flitwick demanded. Ron flushed and shrugged.  
  
"Don't worry Ron, it was bound to happen to him." Sinistra said as she realized the green box sitting quietly in the center of the hall...  
  
Alanna and Fred were gliding on the hall swiftly following McGonagall in her bright pink Barbie bicycle.  
  
"Quickly you two! I think I see something up ahead." McGonagall said pedaling.  
  
Both of them began to skate faster. Soon the little green box was visible. McGonagall came to a sharp turn and stopped. Fred slowed down, however Alanna couldn't and she kept going full speed. Alanna tripped over the box and landed face first. McGonagall and Fred cringed as they saw Alanna's tail wave in the air.  
  
"I'm fine..." She said getting up, "What's this?" Alanna said pulling the lid of the box.  
  
Harry woke up confused. He was hanging upside down from somewhere. He remembered skating next to Ron, but then all faded. He realized his glasses were missing. Everything was really fuzzy.  
  
"Hehehe...you are awake...Potty." Said a silky voice. Harry squinted to try and see who it was. All he got was a big blur of green and yellow.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I am the...oh wait! Why don't you try and guess who I am?"  
  
"Wait a minute I recognize your voice...Lucius Malfoy?" Harry yelled out in confusion.  
  
"Yes, I mean no...I am the Riddler."  
  
"All right so what. What can you possibly do to me?" Harry said very cocky.  
  
"Harry, have you ever gotten a swirly?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Hehehe...what's wet and...um...smelly after going to the ...potty?"  
  
"That is one crappy rhyme..."  
  
"Oh just shut up... its potter after getting his head flushed in the toilet!"  
  
"No please...don't!"  
  
"Say Hi to the Potty...Potty!!!"  
  
"NO!!!!!!"  
  
FLUSH...  
  
Snape stopped as he heard the loud scream, Hermione clinged tighter to his neck.  
  
"That sounded like Harry." She said.  
  
"He's in there." George said pointing to the bathroom.  
  
"The Girls Bathroom?"  
  
Soon the rest of the justice league arrived. Sinistra looked at Snape.  
  
"You look like you haven't been able to breath Batman."  
  
"Shut it Sinistra."  
  
"Not now, someone's life is in danger." McGonagall said opening the door. They all stepped in. The flushing of water and Harry's scream could be heard.  
  
"Harry, its us chap." Ron said.  
  
"Help!" Hardy screamed as his voice was then followed by water once again.  
  
"Whoever it is they are giving Harry swirlys!" Fred said.  
  
"Quickly all of you look in each stall!" McGonagall said going over and opening one. They all began to open stalls. Snape went over to one. What he was about to see next would haunt him for the rest of his life. Snape flung open the stall only to see Lucius Malfoy wearing nothing, but green tights with sparkly question marks all over them.  
  
"Oh go- my eyes!" Snape said looking the other way in disgust. Lucius allowed Harry to stand up. His head was soaking wet. The others came over and were also traumatized.  
  
"Oh dear." Minerva said clutching at her ropes.  
  
"Well if it isn't the infamous Justice league. Well, you can't beat me cuz I'm cool, I am wiser than Gandhi, I'm a mastermind you know my friends call me...?" He said anticipating an answer.  
  
"Oh for the love of...what are you doing man!" Snape asked taking pity on potter for possibly the first time in his life.  
  
"Blondie... the answer was Blondie."  
  
"I've made better rhymes in my lifetime." Ron said spewing webbing onto Malfoys face.  
  
"Quickly, get him!" Minerva said going in to sock Malfoy. She missed only by a hair; however, Alanna went over to him and flipped him over.  
  
"Oh my back...hey you know what rhymes with back?"  
  
"Shut it!" Sinistra yelled at him as she picked him up and threw him on the wall. "Go Spidey!" Sinistra said as Ron spewed a web and tied up Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"Nice job Ron!" Flitwick said going over to Malfoy. He grabbed at His hair and slapped him.  
  
"That was for stupid rhymes. (Smack) that ones for traumatizing all of us and-  
  
Suddenly Malfoy broke free and ran out towards the exit.  
  
"Hehehe! You can't catch me I'm the..."  
  
"Don't answer that one George." McGonagall commanded George.  
  
They all began to run after him, but they were stopped when they heard something go slam. Dumbledore drove into the bathroom with Malfoy on his windshield. He honked his horn, which played the song La Cucaracha.  
  
"No fair! You get the Golf cart!" Minerva said sighing at Dumbledore.  
  
"Can someone get this road kill off my cart." Dumbledore said stepping out.  
  
Sinistra came over and slid Malfoy off the cart.  
  
"He is still alive."  
  
"Too bad." Sinistra said carrying him over to one of the windows. " The cold water will wake him up." She said tossing Malfoy out of the window.  
  
"That was bloody brilliant!" Ron said looking at Sinistra with awe.  
  
"Don't tell your parents I did that kids."  
  
"Lightning Boy are you all right?" Dumbledore asked a rather distraught Harry.  
  
"Smelly..."  
  
"We are so going to here about this in the prophet! Lucius Malfoy found in green tights..."Alanna said smirking.  
  
"Well at least Voldemort didn't get what he wanted." Flitwick said getting on his tricycle.  
  
"Indeed." Dumbledore said getting back into his golf cart and riding out of the bathroom, the others all rode/skated out as well, leaving only the Dynamic Trio behind.  
  
"Well I guess those images are never going to leave my head." Hermione said rubbing her head.  
  
"You don't know the half of it." Snape retorted.  
  
"Well Batty time to take us home." George said patting the bicycle seat. Snape grumbled.  
  
"Get on and try not to crush my neck Granger."  
  
And thus the dynamic trio left the bathroom gloriously lit by moonlight.  
  
"Watch out Snape!"  
  
CRASH!  
  
Well I really don't know how I managed this but I have done it. My tenth chapter! Thank you all so much for your support! Sevi and I send our Love! I am insane!! R&R!! 


	11. Fat Jokes and Jokers

Disclaimer: All right every one let me get this straight. I do not nor probably ever will own Harry Potter, DC Comics, Marvel Comic, or in anything that has a copyright. I don't make money off of this...  
  
Authors note: All right. Miranda G. Potter don't worry I promise to use The Mr. Freeze/Voldemort at some point. I promise, just not now. I love you please don't hate me thank you for reviewing! 20-something reviews! WOW! I know it is not the highest number ever, but it means a lot to me. I am so glad that you all enjoy it. Of course this probably wouldn't be half as funny if all of like Citrine Castle and Reaka and Miranda and any one that I forgot. I swear I'll get your names later I love you all. (Citrine Castle...no I do not have Snape chained up to a wall. For your information he is with me because he wants to be with me...grin...I am so insane...grin...I LOVE YOU!)  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea: Chapter 11 Fat Jokes and Jokers  
  
The Great Hall was bustling with laughter and a lot of happiness. The Daily Prophet had revealed a rather astonishing and amusing picture of Lucius Malfoy utterly wet in the ridiculous green attire.  
Draco's face was burning with anger. His usually white skin was as red as the small cherry tomatoes set upon his table. His gray eyes turned to look at the Gryffindor table, where the Fred, George, Alanna and the dream team were laughing their heads off. His expression hardened. # How dare they laugh at my father! They will get what comes to them#  
  
...  
  
On the staff table Auriga and Minerva tried to contain their laughter. Dumbledore's eyes sparkled as he beamed down upon the children. Severus was gently stabbing himself with his fork to keep himself from cracking up at the stupidity of it all. Flitwick of course trembled in his seat trying desperately not to laugh at Draco.  
Sinistra looked over to Snape and stabbed him with her fork.  
  
"Why are you stabbing yourself Severus? (poke) Why are you stabbing yourself Severus? (Poke) why are you-  
  
"Cut it out Auriga!"  
  
"Sorry I can't help it! I thought that Lucius would have had the press censored. What an idiot. Besides why are you stabbing yourself?"  
  
"I was not aware I had to answer to you..." He said that barely hiding a grin.  
  
"Was that a grin? How uncharacteristic of you! What are you on and why aren't you sharing?"  
  
"Oh! Shut it Auriga." He hissed at her while digging back into his omelets. She poked him on his side with her fork again and he jumped.  
  
"You just wait I'll get you back."  
  
"I'd like to see you try."  
  
Away from this randomness and on to the actual plot...  
  
Draco sat there contemplating what he was going to do about this problem. He couldn't stand being laughed at. He hated that. If they were going to laugh, it was because he would force them to laugh. Laughter. Suddenly a light seemed to flash through Draco's mind. He knew what he saw several weeks ago were not some form hallucination. Now after what had happened he was sure of it. He was going to have revenge for all the laughter. He would avenge his father.  
  
Later that night...  
  
"Well how is every one?" Dumbledore asked the Justice League. They all replied cheerfully, for it had been a very good day.  
  
"What is on the plans tonight, Superman?" Minerva asked.  
  
"The same plan that we've had for the past weeks, try and keep Hogwarts safe of the evil which plagues this world."  
  
"So what are we waiting for?" Flitwick said getting on his bike.  
  
"Lets go then!" Dumbledore said getting in his golf cart. The others began to leave as well. Snape looked at George and Hermione.  
  
"All right lets try this a new way. George you peddle while I sit on the handle bars and Hermione you try and not crush George's neck." Snape commanded. They complied and rode out into the night.  
  
...  
  
They patrolled the hallways in stealth. Sinistra rode up to Snape.  
  
"I'm surprised the handlebars haven't broken off." She said giving him an innocent smile.  
  
"Is that a fat roll I see Hawkgirl?" Snape said equally innocent. Sinistra frowned and smacked his arm.  
  
"Your one to talk dough boy. If I poke you in the stomach will you go ' Yoo hoo'?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?"  
  
"You just wait I'll catch you off guard." Sinistra said going faster. Snape mumbled something and looked back at the George and Hermione.  
  
"What are you two looking at?"  
  
"N-Nothing." Hermione said trying to stifle giggles. Snape looked up ahead. George looked back at Hermione and whispered, "Dough Boy?"  
  
"I heard that Robin, 5 points."  
  
George continued to peddle, until all the others came to an abrupt stop. Snape nearly fell off the bike as George braked. A maniacal laughter was heard echoing through the halls.  
  
"Who is that?" Dumbledore asked stepping out of his golf cart.  
  
"Who else do you think?"  
  
"Draco?" Snape said incredulously.  
  
"Professor...um...no I am the Joker!  
  
Soon Draco became visible and it was clear who he was. The sadistic haunting smile drawn on his pale face and the shocking green hair. He stood there proudly glaring at them.  
  
"My Henchmen and I...AHEM!", Draco motioned for someone to come out of hiding. Crabbe stepped out wearing ridiculous makeup and Goyle stepped out wearing what Harley Quinn was famous for.  
  
"Dear Mother of-"Minerva put her hands over her mouth.  
  
"I will avenge my father! You will learn what it really means to laugh!!"  
  
"Dude I really think that you... hehehe...oh jeese we are not the brightest color in the crayon box are we!" Fred said laughing.  
  
"You'll be the first to suffer Weasley!!!" Draco yelled.  
"Bring it on ferret!" Hermione said getting into fighting position.  
  
"Suffer the wrath of my rubber chickens!!!"  
  
Crabbe and Goyle began to throw rubber chickens.  
  
"You 're kidding right?" Harry said as he looked at the rubber chickens hitting the floor.  
  
Suddenly a yellowish fume began to escape from them.  
  
"Ah Crap!"  
  
That is it for now! In fact that is going to be it for a while. I don't know how long, but I hope not too long. In the mean time keep reviewing. I will be back! I promise! I don't know when but I will! May the big bird of the galaxy protect all of you! Sevi is calling me! I have to go! My love to you all!!!! 


	12. Ice Burns as All Good Things Must Come t...

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; I do not own DC or Marvel Comics. I wish I did! I own nothing whatsoever! All Right!!!!

  
  
Authors note: Hi! What is up!!!! Oh my goodness, anyways just here to say thanks for all my readers. I love you all. I am co-writing a fic called Destiny's Pursuit. Keep your eyes peeled it is a Humor/Drama. It has original characters and the Sirius and Snape. Long story, worth reading for the laughs! Anyways here we go again for the last time...  
  
DC Comics and Bad Tea Chapter: 12 Ice Burns as All Good Things Must Come to an End  
  
Snape sighed at the stupidity of it all. He calmly took out his wand and waved an enchantment directed straight at Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Blue streaks flew across towards them and hit them squarely in the chest. They crumpled onto the smooth concrete floor.  
  
"Severus?!" Minerva said looking at him, "I thought we weren't allowed to use wands!"  
  
"Oh, please you weren't all about to take crap from those three!" Snape growled at them. The others looked rather ashamed with themselves. " I mean, it wasn't even laughing gas in those chickens, they were dung bombs!"  
  
Hermione came over to Malfoy and kicked him in the gut. "Stupid, Lets just leave them here."  
  
"Sounds good to me." Alanna the Catwoman said turning her back to leave, the others nodded and went back on their vehicles.  
  
"You'd think we would run into someone much more serious. Draco just disgraced his entire family." Ron said gliding gracefully on his skateboard.  
  
"Tell me about it. Well he's going to be laughed out of this school." Harry said cracking a big smile on his face.  
  
The Justice League of Hogwarts rode down the corridors with an eerie sense of calm that would soon find its end. They reached the lower levels in little time, but something was terribly wrong.  
  
"Its so cold." Fred said grasping his shoulders. Alanna agreed as she shivered violently. They all came to a stop complaining about the temperature.  
  
"Why is it so frickin cold?" Minerva said.  
  
"Such language Wonder Woman?" Dumbledore said a little shocked he looked at Snape, "Since we are breaking policy Batman, why don't you give us some light?" Snape rolled his eyes and swished his wand and the torches lit up illuminating the beautiful ancient corridors of Hogwarts.  
  
"This is rather strange." Flitwick said looking at the gleaming hall. The concrete was glazed in ice and several icicles hung down from the roof.  
  
"I have a bad feeling about this." Ron said looking at the winter wonderland that was before them.  
  
"You have no idea." An icy voice echoed through the halls.  
  
"Show yourself servant of evil!" Fred said overly dramatic, the others gave him the eye and Snape twitched.  
  
"He's here." Snape said whipping out his wand.  
  
"Who." Harry asked quietly.  
  
"The one who gave you that." Snape indicated at the scar upon Harry's forehead.  
  
"What? My watch? Batgirl gave it to me-  
  
"No you idiot your scar."  
  
"Oh...crap."  
  
"Is it time to panic yet?" Ron asked as Mr. Freeze/Voldemort arose from the ground in a strangely beautiful display of crystalline ice molding it self as he came towards them.  
  
"Spiderman, panicing starts right now." Snape said as Ron began to run around in circles.  
  
"Well, if it isn't the Justice League of Hogwarts. Prepare to meet your doom, my army and I shall destroy you and all the world will be mine!" He began to cackle wildly as people began to come from behind him. "Your end has come Harry Potter!" Freeze took out his freezing ray gun and encased Harry in a block of ice.  
  
"Harry!" Hermione yelled as she ran over to his frozen figure. Voldemort screeched with laughter.  
  
"That was all too easy, Attack all of them!!!" Freeze/Voldemort raised his hands as some of his most notorious Deatheaters emerged from behind him. Bellatrix ran up front and went after Sinistra.  
  
"Hawkgirl? Die!" Bellatrix Flung herself at Sinistra. The catfight of the century had started.  
  
Meanwhile Minerva and Dumbledore took down as many as they could but they were being overpowered. The others were struggling as many of the Deatheaters began to use their wands against them. Alanna clawed many of them but soon she was knocked unconscious. Fred saw what had happened and ran to help her, but was also stunned. Freeze/Voldemort stood upon a tall pillar of ice seeing the chaos underfoot. He cackled wildly and began to blow out more ice from his gun.  
  
"He's insane!!" Minerva said as she flipped over one of the Deatheaters. Then one of the Death eaters came over to her and slapped her on the behind. At that moment all her fury was unleashed and she began to beat the man into a bloody pulp. Dumbledore left her side and ran over to the frozen Harry. Hermione and George where wildly trying to chip away the ice. Dumbledore took out his wand and began to chant a thawing spell, but was suddenly caught under Voldemort/Freeze's ray gun of ice. His body was frozen in ice as if time had stopped. George and Hermione were also caught and frozen. Sinistra ran over Snape with her feathers all ruffled.  
  
"What the crap happened to you?" Snape asked.  
  
"I had a run in with a itch missing a b." She said disgruntled, " Dumbledore's down so are Fred and Alanna. That goes for Hermione and George."  
  
"What about Flitwick and Ron?"  
  
Sinistra pointed at them sadly and shook her head. Both of them were running around in circles and screaming.  
  
"Well that counts them out." Snape growled. Minerva came from behind carefully avoiding them beam of ice, which was hitting everyone. Voldemort/Freeze laughed maniacally.  
  
"He's just hitting anyone, Deatheater or Leaguer are we all that is left?" She said looking at the fallen forms of their companions. Soon three more Deatheaters marched towards them. They took up fighting positions, Sinistra brandished her mace and flew across towards them. She knocked them down like bowling pins. She flew back to Snape and Minerva with a look of anguish on her face.  
  
"Listen, He is just shooting at anything, right. I'll fly up there and knock the crap out of him."  
  
"Sinistra don't." Severus said strangely concerned.  
  
"Don't worry my doughboy I'll be back." Sinistra said pecking him in the cheek. She fluttered her wings and flew upward.  
  
"Don't worry my doughboy I'll be back?" Minerva said grinning despite the grim situation. Snape blushed under his mask; grateful for once that he was wearing it. Sinistra yelled vulgarities as she flew upwards ready to bash Voldemort/ Freeze's head in. Voldemort looked at her and gave her a smile.  
  
"Foolish bird." He pointed his ray gun at her and fired. Sinistra's body froze in mid-air, Snape and Minerva watched in horror as she began to fall. Minerva pulled out her own wand and chanted something, so that Sinistra's body glided gently to the floor, however, Voldemort saw this and froze Minerva on the spot. Snape realized he was all alone now and there was nothing he could possibly do as Voldemort/Freeze made an ice slide towards him.  
  
"So it is just I and you Batman." He said clutching at his ray gun.  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"Instead of destroying you however, I have a preposition for you." Voldemort said as Snape looked at him with slight confusion.  
  
"Why should I agree?"  
  
"Shut up and listen, you are very powerful indeed. Just think about it, you and I can rule this entire world. Countless mudbloods crushed under our feet and those pitiful muggles slaves to us. Think about it you and I would make an incredible power. For there is no good or evil only power!" He cackled madly.  
  
"Your are insane!"  
  
"Oh, I am not insane, I am your... dog's roommate's mother's best friends' aunt's second cousin's twice removed sister in law's stock broker's mother's brother."  
  
"I don't have a dog..."  
  
"Oh...well the point is that we are in some strange way related! Now join me or Freeze."  
  
"Give me a moment to think."  
  
"All right take your time." Voldemort/ Freeze began to hum the jeopardy tune. Snape began to contemplate his situation...  
  
# What the crap am I going to do! I am so screwed! If only there was someway to defeat him. # As Snape continued to try and figure something out a voice a very familiar voice came into his mind.  
  
"Use the grease Snivellus."  
  
"What the crap?" Snape said aloud as he saw a levitating cross- legged Sirius Black.  
  
"What did you say?" Voldemort asked obviously not aware of Sirius.  
  
"Still thinking." Snape said nervously. Voldemort nodded and continued to hum.  
  
" Use the grease Snivellus. It is all around you Snivellus, use the grease."  
  
# This is all Hagrids fault! I never should have drunken that tea! #  
  
"Snivellus you are not hallucinating, so for the last frikin time, use the grease!!!" Suddenly Sirius was gone and Snape was alone again with Voldemort.  
  
"Have you made a decision yet?"  
  
"Yes, um look at that!" Snape said pointing at some imaginary thing in the back. Voldemort turned around quickly to see what was behind him. Snape suddenly realized, a random bucket of grease was laying in the snow and ice. He picked it up quickly and dumped the lot on Voldemort.  
  
"What did you do?" Voldemort said furiously fumbling for his ice ray gun.  
  
"Use the grease." Snape replied simply, while lighting a match and tossing it upon Voldemort.  
Voldemort burst into a ball of flame and began to run around like crazy all around the place. He ran back ad forth, melting a lot of snow and ice along with him, in fact as he ran he managed to thaw the entire justice league, which was incased in ice. They all regained consciousness and saw the strange sight of Voldemort running around in flames.  
  
"Severus!" Minerva said in shock, "What the crap happened?"  
  
"Don't exactly know, but get the others ready, The Deatheaters are waking up."  
  
Soon the entire justice league had formed a straight line facing the burning Voldemort and his dark servants. Dumbledore looked at the Justice League of Hogwarts with simple admiration and pulled out his wand.  
  
"For Hogwarts!"  
  
"For Hogwarts!!!!" They all ran wands in the air and courage hanging by a thread. An epic battle had just begun. One by one the death eaters fell and disappeared. The place was bursting with light and fire. Soon seeing that they were no longer a match for them, the Deatheaters began to dissaperate. Voldemort saw as his subordinates betrayed and left him. He could no longer take the madness and screamed.  
  
"You are all insane!!!!" He yelled as he ran and jumped out of the nearest window in a ball of flames.  
  
"Wow, that was so Lord of the Rings it is almost scary." Ron said taking a deep breath.  
  
"Well I think that was it right?" Harry said looking around at the bruised and cold heroes.  
  
"For now Harry, the school is safe." Dumbledore said looking out of a window. The sun arose, breaking the long night and illuminating the corridor with soft light.  
  
"You mean we don't have to do this." Minerva said with some sign of hope.  
  
"Nope, at least not till next year." Dumbledore said calmly.  
  
Sinistra fluttered her wings and came over to the rest of the adult staff.  
  
"He will be back, he'll always come back." Sinistra said looking out of the window uneasily.  
  
"Yes, He will but we will be ready." Snape said taking her hand. (Corny scale from one to ten. Leave your opinion on a review)  
  
"It will be swift and vengeful." Flitwick said.  
  
They all turned their attention to the kids who were playing in the snow and ice. The Weasley twins and Harry as well as Ron were having a snowball fight, while Hermione and Alanna were skating in the ice.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Dumbledore said mischievously grabbing a handful of snow.  
  
"Every man and woman for himself!!!" Minerva yelled taking cover. Thus the biggest Snowball fight was started.  
  
%$%$%$%$%  
  
So thus the Justice League was ended and all was well for the moment. However, whenever there is a bump in the night or a freak in the school or a poor defenseless person, when ever there is injustice they will always be there to protect. And if you are lucky and the moon is full you might catch a glimpse of the Dark Knight ridding in a bicycle or the red cape of the Superman. Think what you like but it may be that maybe you had too much bad tea...  
  
2&%&&%&%  
  
C'est tout!! This is the end of this story my friends my love to you all may we always be friends. But as I was saying some time ago, under a moonless night perhaps a sequel will come from this, but not now some other day perhaps, but as for now stay home and read and review. My thanks to all who have given me reviews and ideas I am so happy I made others laugh. I really am a little speech less I don't know what exactly what to say. I love all of you!! My Sevi calls me I have to go! As I said before all good things must come to an end so goodnight to you all.


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